I'll Take 'HodgePodge' for $800, Alex

I am rewriting an old story I wrote (Hi Min!). Rereading the stuff you wrote long ago sure makes you feel like the stupidest person in the world. What the eff was I thinking? Oh, when I read my archives, it's all nice and pretty on the web, accompanied by glowing praises and lauds in the comment box (actually, Haloscan takes off all comments more than four months old. If you want them back, you have to pay! pay! pay! No such thing as a free lunch, babes) and it makes me feel like "I should be a frikkin' published writer by now, these editors are bloody blind or what?"

But then when I print out my stories and sit down to fix it, goodness me. Something about that tactile experience, when you have your story in your hands, when you see those words in print. You begin to see it all. It's all so clear, you wonder how come you didn't see it before? Weak imagery, haphazard storyline, pretentious adjectives, two-dimensional characters, stereotypical attributes disguising itself as "local flavor". I mean, what the fuck?? If this piece of crap had been written by someone else and I had to fix it, I would have smiled pityingly at her and tell her "Try again, girl. Or not at all. How about that? How's the waitressing business treatin' ya? There's a future in that, I hear."

Flipping through channels the other night and came across The English Patient on HBO. Just in time for the "Ghibli" scene too. Hee. Am now hoping to find and download that "sralalaam" song. Did I imagine this or did Kate tell him "I wanted to meet the man who could write a ten page paper without a single adjective"? Or is that another movie I'm confusing myself with?

Everyone's calling last night's SuperBowl HalfTime show boring. I didn't find it boring at all. Man, I'd give anything to be able to sing along that "Na, na, na, nanana, hey Jude" part with Paul McCartney. And if he sang "Here, There and Everywhere" I would jump up for joy, it would so make my day. Maybe this is the biggest sign I'm way way past the MTV demographic. Shut up, MTV.

I've been reading too much TelevisionWithoutPity. And checking out GoFugYourself.com more times than necessary. Too much laptop time, very bad for the eyes. But you know what? Somebody should make a Malaysian version of those two sites. Ohh, making snarky comments on all those cerekarama on TV? Soooo easy, man. And critizing the Malaysian 'artiste' punya fashion sense? Seriously, what could be more fun than that?

My favorite word right now is "meander". Rhymes with Lysander, which is a name I'd always thought was cool. Except I like Laertes more. Anyway, 'meander' is my favorite word right now because it was a clue in yesterday's crossword puzzle and today I heard it again via Rufus Wainwright singing "Across the Universe". Did I just surreptitiously tell you that I read Shakespeare and attempt the crossword puzzle? Sneaky elitist hobbitses!! Shut up, me. (The answer was 'stray', by the way. Heh.)

I am definitely high on something. Could be the tetanus shot I got this morning. I forgot to tell the doctor I got a tetanus shot two years ago. You're supposed to only get it once every ten years. What if all the vaccine is accumulating in my body and it's somehow making me hyper all of a sudden? This sudden urge to share every single detail that's been happening to me today to all of you people cannot possibly be normal. Shut up, tetanus shot.

See? Way too much TelevisionWithoutPity. Go look for it yourself. I am not your google. Hey. That should be my next tagline for this website!!

I am sure I will open my site tomorrow morning and be totally embarassed with today's posting. The sheer amount of exclamation points I've used thus far is enough to shame me right now. (But not enough to stop typing, apparently) I want to make a drunken-confession comparison here, but the words are just not coming, man. Also, I say 'man' and 'dude' a lot. Dude, you are NOT a Cali-surfer-chick! So wannabe, man.

thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter-box
they stumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Me go listen to the Beatles now. Me shut up now. Now. Seriously.