Self-Portrait III: Siblings

Laaaast Onnnneee!!

It couldn't have been easy for my brother to live in a family full of girls. We're noisy. We bicker. We leave knots of hair in the sink. We swoon and sigh and scream at the sight of handsome mat sallehs on TV. It's a wonder his eyes aren't permanently rolled heavenwards.

And you'd think being the only boy in the family, he'd be the exact copy of my father. Oh sure, he's got the cigarette habit down pat (and will probably inherit the gum disease and other oral complications pretty soon) but I think my brother is somewhat calmer and more patient, traits you'd see in my mother. We girls are the feisty ones, the cepat melenting ones, the I-take-no-shit-from-you ones. My brother just grins and lets whatever is bothersome rolls off his shoulder. He then would light up a cigarette.

My brother chose not to go to college, but he's the smartest 20-something guy I know (next to this, erm, other person in my life). I got the voracious reading habit from him, when we were growing up in Kuantan and he would spend afternoons in the study we had in our house at Jalan Tok Sera reading what? I don't know. Hardy Boys or something. But he was reading. He's probably the only guy I know in real life who reads A LOT. The first in our family to finish all three Lord of The Rings books, ten years before Peter Jackson approached New Line.

He's an excellent graphic artist, though sadly, he has yet to get paid for it. He can tell you everything you need to know about animals in Africa or everywhere else. His dream job is probably to be a cameraman for National Geographic or the World Wildife Foundation. He knows all these random stuff about French cinema, Frank Miller comics and King Tut. Most recently, I found that he can kick my ass when writing in Bahasa Malaysia and he keeps himself informed on all the political goings-on in the country and is not afraid to share his opinion. He can program whichever Pearl Jam song you want into your cell-phone's ring tone. He inherited my dad's ability to play music by ear. He's wonderful with kids. I can't really say that about some other 20-30 year old guys I know.

When he was in high-school, my brother played the slacker/almost-drop-out-bum role to perfection. We thought his life would go nowhere. We thought he would be stuck in the same 'getting a job, getting bored, quitting and slacking off till he finds another job' cycle for the rest of his life. Then he met his wife. Everything changed. I never believed in all that "love changes everything" crap, but soon after his wedding, I was a believer. I tell you, that woman is a miracle worker. My mother probably thinks so too and thanks God everyday for bringing Kak N- into our lives.

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My siblings had a different childhood than mine. They had more time with our grandparents, they have fond memories of Bukit Kecik, my father took great big blown up portraits of every one of them except me (he lost interest in photography by the time I came along, I think). I think my three sisters got the better times with my father, he was around a lot more when they were growing up. My brother remembers Bah, my eldest sister followed him to his music sessions, watching her grandfather play the violin.

Sometimes, in my childhood, I looked at my siblings and all I saw were strangers.

It's weird when you think about it. Growing up, you think you hate your siblings and sometimes wish you were an only child. You argue, you slam doors, you steal (borrow lah!) their stuff, you insult each other on a daily basis and God forbid you compliment them on their outfit now and again. But then something happens around 18, 19 and suddenly you're getting along. You share books, music, movie reviews, clothes. You talk, you laugh, you bond.

Sometimes, in the middle of a meal, at the dinner table all of you have sat at since you were born, this person you thought were so different from you, suddenly becomes the person closest to you, the person who knows more about you than anyone else, the person you're most comfortable with.

This person suddenly becomes your friend.