Sunday's Surprise

Sarah's seminar saddened her so she slipped out sooner than she should. Sarah steered her Sedan towards Springfield, sure that Simon would be sitting at home, seeing after her Siamese cats. It was a shining Sunday.

Sarah stood still, squinting. She smelled something strange. A scent she did not use. The house was silent. She stepped into the sunroom, searching for her Siamese cats, supposing Simon would be there, stroking them. The sunroom was stark and empty.

A single sunflower on the sofa. A sheet of paper. Simon was not the type to send her stirring serenades. Sarah sat and skimmed it. Short sentences scribbled in script.

"Suzy,
Sexy siren. Seductive sorceress. Sarah's at a seminar. Save me. Salvage my soul. Samba, Sunday, 7.
Smooches, Simon."

Suzy? Slut! Sarah swore. Sarah started to see: Simon sneaking with Suzy, Simon starting a sordid affair, Simon doing the samba. In her sunroom. With a stranger. Sonavabitch!

Sarah scaled the stairs, seething. She stopped. Someone was in the shower. Sarah side-stepped towards the door.

Simon was shaving. His shins. Simon slowly slid the Sensor-shaver across his soapy legs. Steam swirled out of the shower as Simon stepped into it, softly singing 'Sukiyaki'.

Sarah slinked back into the sunroom. She was semi-suicidal, but sustained stillness several seconds later. She'll see what this Sexy Suzy looks like. She'll surprise the scum that is her spouse and his stinking sweetheart. Sarah strategized.

Soon.

Steps on the stairs. Simon's done with his shower. Sarah sailed towards the sofa, and snuck behind a shelf. She heard Simon switching on the stereo. She heard Simon stepping into the sunroom. She smelled the strange scent.

Simon sauntered in, shoe-less, sporting a short see-through Safari-print sundress. Simon had on Sarah's shimmering eyeshadow and slick lipgloss.

Sarah stifled a shriek.

Simon searched for something underneath the sofa. Seven-inch stilletos. Simon slipped it on with a satisfied sigh. Simon did a little salsa step, the sundress swishing against his thighs.

Sarah stood up, sobbing. Simon stopped and stepped back. Sarah was shaking.

Sarah screamed.

"Simon!! You..you SISSY!!"

Simon smiled. "Simon's sleeping, sweetie. Say hello to Suzy."

First draft: January 24th 2003